Double standards

Be careful of the mixed messages in our culture about sex and relationships.

What really frustrates me about mainstream pop culture, music, television and everything we’re fed is the double standards … and how they affect people. They look like this:

We’re told by media and artists such as Lady Gaga, Jason Derulo, and many more that everyone wants that one, perfect, special person to spend the rest of their lives with.
The contradiction, often by the same artists, is that they can’t settle just for one person! They go from person to person having countless sexual experiences.

It seems that people are seeking lasting intimacy and relationships with a single person, while experiencing nothing like that with numerous people.

They are looking for the love of one person, but exploiting many people.

They want to settle down, but they uphold a wild lifestyle and don’t treat others in ways that would lead to a committed relationship.

It just doesn’t make any sense, and is totally counter-productive!

Can you see the problem?

The trouble is that our culture, and our generation, don’t see the double standards! They don’t know what they’re searching for ... or at least they think they do, but they don’t go about it in the right way. Now I’m not just talking about making bad decisions, but actually complete ignorance, deception and a polluted mind.

Our society tells us to do what we want and don’t even think about the consequences. We’re told to sleep with whoever we want, but we are also force-fed the ideal of a perfect, happy and monogamous (one partner) relationship. These two things can’t co-exist!

I think most of us are deep-down searching for that one person who we can spend the rest of our lives with. But this is not going to be achieved by detached and multiple sexual experiences, promiscuous escapades and an overall lack of commitment or concern for one another!

Don't be a user

In Lady Gaga’s song Do what you want, she not only invites, but encourages us to use her (and consequently, all other women) as an object purely for physical pleasure. This is totally dehumanising and this is not who God made her, me, or you to be. We are made with a purpose, by a God who intimately knows and loves us.

This also makes me think of Jason Derulo’s new song Marry me, where he is expressing his love for this one particular girl whom he wishes to spend the rest of his life with. This seems quite ironic as most of his other songs are all about the ‘glory’ and ‘greatness’ of one-night-stands and non-committal physical relationships with numerous women. Is he talking about marriage, but really interested in just another casual relationship?

God knows best

There is much wisdom to be found in the Bible, and a lot of people knock it, but it actually makes a whole lot of sense. God created sex between one man and one woman for their whole lives, within the confines of marriage and a committed relationship. This is where relationships flourish, but the world is looking for this blessing and prosperity outside of this. God knew what He was doing when He created marriage. Everything else is counter-productive.

The world tells us to sleep around and be flippant with our actions and motives, while God instructs and guides us to whole-hearted love, devotion and commitment to one another. This is ultimately expressed in the marriage of one man and one woman, who are to be committed physically, spiritually and emotionally to each other, and not to others (Genesis 2:24). It is a special bond that is ever so important in maintaining a healthy relationship. And the more people you have been intimately connected with, the harder this will be once you finally decide to settle down.

Commit to a higher standard

God desires more from us, something that is more respectful, modest, uplifting and wholesome. God fearfully and wonderfully made us (Ps. 139), and we are to treat our bodies as holy, honourable and pleasing to God! 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 describes our body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. This means we should keep it pure and respect it - and others’ too. Paul then goes on to say that we are not our own, but we were bought at a price (which was Jesus’ blood). In light of this, we are to honour God with our bodies.

If we are honouring our bodies and others’, we won’t be using them for our own selfish gain, but will be putting their interests firsts. We should at all times be considering how our actions could affect the other person - whether positively or negatively - and what we can do about it. So this means not doing what our culture encourages. Instead, be loving, kind and responsible. Don’t do what a lot of our ‘pop idols’ are doing. Don’t take life and relationships for granted, but instead cherish them, and trust them into God's care, love and guidance. He knows what is best for us, and wants to bless us and see us enjoying what He has made for us.

Don’t live a life of double standards, but live to Gods’ standard, because it is what we’re made for.