What’s the big deal with casual sex?

Why Christians believe that sex should be saved for marriage.

Edited from a Q&A written by christianity.net.au

You're out on a date, and kissing is starting to turn into something more. You know what the Bible says about sex before marriage but you're excited, feeling good and after all, everyone else is doing it. Surely God won't mind! Once you do get married you're sure you'll be able to commit to that one special person, but for now, what's the problem with having some fun and exploring sex?

For most of the world, sex is no big deal. It’s for fun and pleasure, but it doesn’t have to be confined to a committed marriage. In fact, a lot of the world would say, "sleep with as many people as you can", or "have as much sex as you can!" This is the message we receive in magazines, online and on TV.

So, when we are young and exploring life, why does God continue to insist we wait until marriage for sex?

Why is sex so special?

Sex is a special gift from God designed to unite a couple in marriage. When sex is practiced as it should it is a wonderful gift of intimacy that builds and cements the marriage relationship.

Sex is part of the means by which a couple become “one flesh” when married. The picture of marriage in Genesis is one where there is such intimacy and trust that “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Gen 2:25). Sex creates, enhances and expresses this intimacy. It's not something we do to 'get something' from someone, it's the ultimate physical expression of love and commitment.

Saving sex for your spouse

In any other context but a commited marriage, sex can have deeply painful consequences. Unfortunately, sin distorts even this most precious gift so that sex can be used to exploit, abuse and defile.

Sex's uniting power is strong, so it is virtually impossible to have sex that does not involve giving of the whole self. Therefore without the corresponding commitment to love, cherish and stand by another person for the rest of your life, this uniting power is corrupted and damaged.

What generally happens is that the more you try and turn the intimacy off and have a fling, the less likely you are to be able to turn it back on when it counts. The result is that sex starts to lose its ability to cement and build the marriage relationship.

If you engage in casual sex and later get married, the consequences of your past actions will reveal themselves, even if you've repented. Going against God's good design is never a good idea, and though God does forgive and promise to wipe your slate clean before him, you and your spouse will still have to work through pain and grief.

Explore sex when you're married

God has designed sex to work best in the context of a committed life long relationship. There is nothing to be gained by “exploring”.

In fact, “exploring” the sexual dimension of a relationship is part of the building the intimacy in it. There is great joy in discovering sexual intimacy for the first time with someone who is committed to you. There is no fear and no shame because that person has promised not to leave you. Sex within marriage is actually the most freeing expression of sexuality, contrary to popular belief!

Sex before marriage may look and be appealing but there is much more to be gained by keeping yourself until you are married, as hard as this may be in our “enlightened” society. So next time you're tempted to go too far with someone, remember that God has designed sex for marriage, and the designer always knows how his creation works best.

Edited from a Q&A written by christianity.net.au