Dear Jesus, why is life so hard?
"I know you never promised to make my life easy, but..."
I’m here again asking you to make my life easier.
I know you never promised to make my life easy. I know you said that I must put following you above mother, family, sister, brother and even my own life (Luke 14:26). I remember you saying I had to take up my cross and follow you (Luke 9:23). I understand that following you isn’t a walk in the park, but I really don’t understand why you don’t help me out a lot more than you do. I don’t understand why I’ve been looking for a job for months now and gotten nowhere. Why must I struggle when you could snap your fingers and a job would arrive on a platter? It’s not just me. What about my single friend who fears she will never marry? She follows you faithfully and yet she remains single. You could intervene and her struggles would be over, yet you allow her struggles to continue. What about the family at church from overseas, who have been waiting for permanent residency for 4 years now? They have no idea whether they can stay or not. You could fix that situation up instantly if you choose to, and yet you allow them to live with uncertainly and struggle.
Truthfully, if you wanted. you could prevent any bad thing from happening to me. In your mighty power you could ensure that my life was pain free, consisting of soft pillows, warm blankets, marshmallows and fairy floss. I suppose I would not be a very strong Christian if I always got what I prayed for. If I always got what I prayed for, I would probably pray for even more shallow and self-centred things than I already do! I fear I would start treating you like a vending machine whenever I need something. If I need help or my troubles removed, I simply insert a prayer and press the button to relieve my problems. If life were like that I wouldn’t search for you or seek you. I’m sorry I treat you like a vending machine way too much. Sometimes, I’m not sure whether I’m serving you or whether I’m trying to convince you to serve me.
I admire Job in the Bible for sticking with you even though everything he had was taken away from him. He wasn’t even given a good explanation as to why. I remember that Moses was once offered the chance to go into the promised land, but God said he wasn’t going with him (Exodus 33:3). Moses responded by saying that if God wasn’t going to personally lead them, then Moses wasn’t going either. (Exodus 33:15). I find it amazing that Moses would rather stay in the desert with God, than go to a better place without God. He decided that knowing God was more important than an easy life. I wish I was more like that.
I still don’t understand why I don’t have ideal work, why my friend is single, or why my friends at church are still waiting, but maybe I don’t need answers or explanations. I want to follow you like Moses did who was more interested in knowing you then having an easy life. I don’t know why I struggle but I know who I want to struggle with.