A Christian Teen’s Guide to What God Wants From Girls
Young women: now it's your turn to find out how God wants you to live
Hi there Christian girl! I bet you’re here because you love God and want to know what he wants from you.
That’s great! Even asking that question shows that you’re growing mature in your faith, and you understand that being a Christian means that your life is going to be affected by God’s will.
In this Christian Teen’s Guide, we’re going to take a look at what exactly God wants from you – firstly as a human, and secondly as a woman.
What does the Bible say about women?
God created all humanity
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth – and he created people! Genesis 1:26-27 tells us:
Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
God created women
In Genesis 2, we get a more detailed account of creation. Now whether this is literal or not is debated, but it is clear that God creates distinct male and female people. The first man is Adam, and he is given a job: to work the land and take care of it.
Later, God creates the first woman, Eve. Some people make a big deal of the fact that Adam is created first, but there are a few beautiful things to note about the creation of woman:
In verse 18, God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone”. Without women, God’s creation is not good – in contrast to the refrain of ‘God saw that it was good’ in Genesis 1. It’s incomplete.
Also in verse 18, God says that he will “make a helper suitable for [Adam]”. The Hebrew word for helper (ezer) is actually a word used to describe God at many points in the Old Testament! Being a helper is by no means a demeaning position – it’s actually a powerful, equal role in creation. Adam can’t fulfil his purpose without Eve!
The man and the woman are to work together in the land, and they are also brought together in a covenant relationship in which they are able to bear children to inhabit the earth.
God wants certain things from all people
After creating people, we unfortunately messed everything up. Since sin has entered the world God has one particular thing that he wants from all of us – male or female!
As Sean McDowell explains in this article,: "God’s will is that, by believing in His son, Jesus Christ, people be saved. 1 Timothy 2:4 says that God, “desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”
If you are stumbling through life trying to know God’s will, but have never asked God to forgive your sins, then you are not even in the beginning of God’s will. Qualification number one for God’s will is your salvation. If you have never committed your life to being a disciple of Jesus, then God has no reason to reveal anything further to you regarding the pattern of your life.”
God wants certain things from all Christians
As Christians, God has more things that he wants from us – male or female.
Although we are utterly and completely redeemed from our sin purely by the grace of Jesus (and let’s never forget that!), as part of our new identity as followers of Jesus there are a few things we need to do. These are broad categories but there are many Bible verses to back them up. Take a look!
- Love God – God has saved us because he loves us and wants a relationship with us. So we ought to love him too! He has done so much for us and he wants to know we love and care for him too. We show this by building a relationship with him through Bible reading and prayer, and by our actions.
- Love others – loving others is supposed to be an outpouring of the love that God has shown us. Want to know more about this love? Turn to 1 Corinthians 13 for a beautiful description.
- Serve other Christians – serving the church is a responsibility of all of us who follow God. Together we encourage each other and help each other to love God and others more. The way you serve may be different to others but you really should be serving other Christians as part of your faith.
- Witness to non-Christians – in Matthew 28, Jesus tells us to make disciples of all nations. That means, tell others about him and help them follow him! Our witness to non-Christians may be in actions or words, but either way it’s a big part of being a Christian.
- Flee from sin – while we will never win the battle against sin in this life, sin is not a part of our identity any more. Just as we don’t wear the uniform of a school we used to go to, we need to put off our old sinful selves and clothe ourselves in good, right behaviour instead. That’s what matches our identity!
God wants certain things from women
As a young Christian woman, God has specific things that he wants from you. Many of these things are not that distinct from what he wants for men, but they are things that are specifically expressed to women as a special reminder in the Bible.
Interestingly a lot of what the Bible has to say to men specifically is actually to women in certain circumstances – namely marriage. We’re going to leave those particular pieces of advice aside for now, since they aren’t likely to apply to teen girls!
So what is relevant right now? Well, God knows what temptations women tend to face as they seek to serve him, and he calls them out on it.
Women have a tendency to fall into…
- Vanity – an obsession with one’s appearance is never healthy, whether you’re obsessed because you think you look amazing or because you hate how you look. In 1 Timothy 2, Paul advises that rather focusing on their appearance, women ought to “dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” While men also struggle with vanity and becoming overly concerned with their looks, this is a trap that girls in particular need to watch out for, especially in a world that continues to advocate for women to flaunt their sexuality. Check out this article from Fiona Dewhurst for more on this.
- Gossip – again, men are not immune from gossip but for centuries female social interaction has revolved around the passing on of the latest hot goss. But that’s not what God wants for us. In 1 Timothy 5, Paul warns against young women getting caught up in becoming “busybodies” who talk “nonsense”. You can find plenty more words against gossip in Proverbs!
Let’s get practical
Let’s apply some of the Biblical ideas above to how you as a young Christian woman can seek to do what God wants. We’ll apply these ideas to an area of life that God says is most significant: relationships.
Relating to God
God wants to have a relationship with you! What do you do to foster a relationship? You spend time together.
Make the effort to develop a daily Bible reading and prayer habit. Dig deep into God’s word and speak to him about what’s going on in your life. Ask him to help you grow more like Jesus. Ask him to help align what you want with what he wants.
Relating to other women
The Bible tells us that we need to love all people. But female friendships can be a real challenge. Many young women feel regularly betrayed and isolated by their friends. Girls can actually be really mean!
But female friendship is really important. Our girlfriends can encourage us, point us to Jesus and rebuke us when we need it. We need to foster healthy, open friendships.
That means listening to the biblical advice and saying good bye to gossip. Nobody benefits from gossip – it only hurts people! Make a choice to never engage in gossip, and call it out when it’s happening among your friends.
It also means letting go of our insecurities and vanity and stopping comparing ourselves to each other. Friendship is never healthy when you’re jealous of each other. True friendship flourishes in honesty, kindness and compassion.
Relating to men
As a precious daughter of God, your identity comes first and foremost in Him. You may choose to get married at some point, but remember: not even being a mother or wife will be more important than your relationship with God.
We girls can have a tendency to idolise romance and even jump into unhealthy relationships out of a fear that we won’t find love. But remember: God has a plan for your future, and whether that involves a husband or not, you are still valued and loved. Jesus loves you so much that he died for you!
Knowing that, it’s a good idea to focus on friendship with guys in your teen years. Remember that you’ll be existing on the same planet as men for your whole life, so it’s worth learning how to get along as co-workers, ministry volunteers and friends!
A final note: who’s your role model?
The world can make us feel like we need to imitate the latest hot celebrity in order to be worth something. This article from Faith Siler expresses this anxiety well!
But there are far better role models for women in the Bible than anyone you could find on Instagram!
Consider, for example, the woman described in Proverbs 31. Here are some of her great qualities:
- She works hard and earns a great income
- She loves and supports her husband
- She cares for her family
- She welcomes the needy into her home
- She is strong and dignified
- She trusts in God for the future
- She is wise and passes on wisdom to others
- She fears the Lord
Now that’s the kind of woman God wants you to be – kind, hardworking, and a faithful follower of Him.
Questions to think about
- What does the world say being a woman is all about? How does this contrast to what God says?
- As a Christian, what does God want from you?
- What do you think young Christian women like you struggle most with, in terms of temptation and sin?
- Do you struggle with gossip? How can you fight against gossip in your friendships?
- Do you struggle with vanity? How can you find your worth in your identity as a child of God, rather than your appearance?
- How will you seek to deepen your relationship with God this week?