8 tips on how to stay out of bed until you get married
You've made a great decision. How are you going to follow through on it?
If you’re committed to waiting until you get married to have sex, that's great! However, you probably need to think about how you’re going to do this. While making promises is a brilliant start, practically you may need to change some of your behaviours so that temptation doesn't overtake you.
The way our society is set up these days, it is regarded as 'normal' to get into bed rather than stay out of it. So to be different from the world, you need to make some strong decisions.
It's a question of respect
There’s not much point in starting with the question: “How far can we go?” because that just creates arbitrary rules (which never really work), and leaves you teetering on the edge of acceptable versus dangerous.
This is the question you really need to be asking:
How can I best respect my girlfriend/boyfriend and not put them into a position which will make it hard to say 'no'?
With that in mind, here are some things you might like to consider as you plan ahead for purity.
Practical suggestions to avoid temptation
The following aren't so much rules, as they are wise advice. If you are waiting until marriage for sex, then these bits of wisdom could help you to steer clear of making a mistake that you're sure to regret.
1. For a start, don’t do anything which would make others assume that you are sleeping together. In other words, don’t stay over in the same house or room. Don’t take overnight trips together without other people.
2. Set a curfew for yourselves and be accountable to other people for keeping it.
3. Talk about your plans to wait until marriage together. Work out what might be a difficulty for you to stay pure - be realistic & pray about your decision. ask others to pray for you too.
4. Keep physical touch to a minimum. It's generally wise to avoid touching skin below the neck and above the knee.
5. Stay vertical. Don’t get horizontal.
6. Recognise any potentially difficult situations and stay away from them or change them. You might even consider not watching romantic films or TV together.
7. If you're old enough, get married soon. Why wait for years if you know you want to be together? However, be aware of your age and the advice of other people who love you and know you. 18 or 19 just may be too young to marry, or it may not. It depends on how mature you are. Advice from parents, pastors, and friends will help you work this out.
8. Read a book. We suggest Teen Sex By the Book, published by Fervr. Find out more by visiting http://fervr.net/teen-sex-by-the-book.