Choose your friends wisely

Biblical wisdom on the way friends can help or harm us.

Human beings were created to be social creatures, meaning that we are most comfortable when we have family, friends and acquaintances. Friendship is an important element in a fulfilled, contented life, and those who have close friends, whether one or two or a multitude, will usually be happy and well-adjusted. At the same time, those who call themselves our friends may cause us grief and hardship, constantly disappointing us. So what exactly is a friend, and what does the Bible have to say about friends?

The good things about friends

On the positive side, friends can console and help us when we are in trouble, as when Barzillai the Gileadite consoled David when he was being hunted by Saul (2 Samuel 19:25-26) or when Jephthah’s daughter’s friends consoled her before her death (Judges 11:37-38).

A friend may also rebuke in love, proving more faithful than a hypocritical flatterer (Proverbs 27:6).

One of the greatest biblical examples of friendship is David and Jonathan, son of King Saul. Jonathan’s loyalty to his friend, David, exceeded that to his own father and his own ambitions (1 Samuel 18:1-4;20:14-17). So attached was David to his loyal friend that, after Jonathan’s death, David wrote a song to him (2 Samuel 1:17-27). Theirs was a friendship closer than brotherhood.

In the New Testament, many of Paul’s letters begin and end with tributes to his friends, those who ministered to him, supported him, prayed for him, and loved him.

The bad things about friends

Friendship can have its negative aspects as well. Supposed "friends" can lead us into sin. A friend can lead us astray in regard to our faith, as they sometimes did in Israel, leading others to worship false gods (Deuteronomy 13:6-11). In those days, such an act was punishable by death.

Even if our friends do not lead us astray, they can provide false comfort and bad advice, as Job’s friends did, making his suffering worse and displeasing the Lord (Job 2:11-13,6:14-27,42:7-9).

Friends can also prove false, pretending affection for their own motives and deserting us when our friendship no longer benefits them (Psalm 55:12-14;Proverbs 19:4,6-7).

Friendship can be broken down through gossip (Proverbs 16:28) or grudges (Proverbs 17:9).

Choose wisely

Friends should be chosen carefully because, as Paul told the Corinthians, “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Proverbs 1:10-19 and 4:14-19 contain warnings about friends and how we should choose them. We are not to associate with those who entice us to do wrong, no matter how appealing their “friendship” seems to be. Those whose “feet rush to sin” should be avoided. The path they choose is no place for a Christian whose choice should be to follow the “path of the righteous.” Only that path leads to friendship with God, which is the ultimate goal of a Christian.

Originally published on www.gotquestions.org