How to stay out of bed until you get married

If you’re committed to waiting until you get married to have sex, you probably need to think about how you’re going to do this. The way our society is set up these days, the default is to get into bed rather than stay out of it, so to be different from the world, you need to make some decisions.

There’s not much point in starting with the question: “How far can I go?” because that just creates arbitrary rules and leaves you teetering on the edge of acceptable versus dangerous.

Instead, you could start from the position of: “How can I best respect my girlfriend/boyfriend and not put him/her into a position which will make it hard for him/her to say no?”

So, here are some things you might like to consider as you plan ahead for purity.

For a start, don’t do anything which would make others assume that you are sleeping together.

Don’t stay over in the same house or room without a ‘chaperone’. Don’t take overnight trips together without other people. Set a curfew for yourselves and be accountable to other people for keeping it. Talk about your plans to wait until marriage together. Work out what might be a difficulty for you to stay pure.

Some of these guidelines might also help. Don’t touch skin between neck, elbow and knee. Stay vertical. Don’t get horizontal. Only kiss in daylight. Recognise any potentially difficult situations and stay away from them or change them. You might even consider not watching romantic films or TV together.

Finally, get married soon. Why wait for years if you know you want to be together?

However, be aware of your age and the advice of other people who love you and know you. Eighteen or 19 just may be too young to marry, or it may not. How mature do you think you are? How mature do others think you are?